Jade Crull walked into the diner with his six-string guitar, the strap draped across one shoulder, his axe riding low on his back. Word was out that the Sy Coe gang was looking for him, and he aimed to find them first. He slipped onto the stool at the bar and ordered a cup of joe before glancing casually at the rowdy corner of the room. There they were, Abby Norma Lee, Devvy Mental, and General Sy, arguing loudly about the feasibility of a balanced national budget. Jade aimed to have the last word. He got up from the bar, shifted his guitar into playing position, and sauntered over to their corner of the room. Halfway there he launched into Andante by Carcassi just to get their attention. The room drifted into stunned silence. General Sy launched into a wordy defense of trickle-down economics and then Jade let loose with a yawp in the key of awesome. Instantly, Abby, Devvy and the General were returned to their right minds and Jade, his work done, turned and left the way he had come in.
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Sometimes my interests take me hostage, filling my mind with random images and thoughts which must be spoken, sung, played, or written. For some, my dual passions for music and psychology can seem a bit bewildering; however, for me, the blend is a perfect melding of heart, mind and soul.
♬And it's hard to love, there's so much to hate/Hanging on to hope/When there is no hope to speak of/And the wounded skies above say it's much much too late/Well maybe we should all be praying for time♬ ~George Michael
♬I hope you never fear those mountains in the distance/Never settle for the path of least resistance/Livin' might mean takin' chances, but they're worth takin'/Lovin' might be a mistake, but it's worth makin'♬ ~Lee Ann Womack ♬Sitting on an angry chair/Angry walls that steal the air/Stomach hurts and I don't care♬ ~Alice in Chains ♬When your day is long/And the night/The night is yours alone/When you're sure you've had enough/Of this life/Well hang on/Don't let yourself go/'Cause everybody cries/And everybody hurts sometimes♬ ~REM ♬Can you save/Can you save my/Can you save my heavy dirty soul?♬ ~Twenty One Pilots ♬Won't you help me sober up/Growing up it made me numb/And I want to feel something again♬ ~AJR ♬I'm on the pursuit of happiness and I know/Everything that's shine ain't always gonna be gold (hey)/I'll be fine once I get it, get it in, I'll be good♬ ~Kid Cudi |
Each individual contains a deep well of silence -- an absence of words, a presence of emotions too wild to tame. Music, writing and art draw the silence out, transform pain and anger and bliss into a new thing that we can share with one another.
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From kindergarten and through college we are all asked the same question over and over: what job do you want to do? The advice we are given along the way often tends to be contradictory and less than helpful. I’ve been told to follow my passions. My elders have also said that it’s better to be really good at one thing than to be average at many. And perhaps least helpful of all, I have been told that my career doesn’t matter as long as what I do makes me happy. Taken separately, this advice is confusing. Nevertheless, a synthesis of all of the words of wisdom has become my goal. I’ve decided that I want to delve into my passions, excel at many things, and do what makes me happiest. Over the years I’ve found a love in music, writing, and psychology. I find that these three subjects are the ones that I’m most interested in, excel in the most, and most importantly am happiest perusing. Because of this, I would like to pursue child psychiatry, novel writing, and music composition.
My desire to be a child psychiatrist is rooted in my fascination with people and my enjoyment in interacting with children. Ever since I was a young child, I’ve wanted to help people. A lot of the people in my family are teachers, doctors, activists, preachers and social workers, so I guess you could say it’s in my blood. I spent a large portion of my childhood trying to be a pal, making people laugh, helping people who need it. Unfortunately, due to my social awkwardness and previous complete lack of social skills, many of my attempts at do-gooding ended in misunderstandings or failure. People, therefore, became a puzzle to solve. In my thirteenth year, however, I found the perfect way to do it. Having just turned into a teenager, I found myself in a strange world where all my friends were consumed with constant teen-angst and relationship issues. One thing led to another, and I ended up becoming a substitute therapist for most of my friends. I found that I not only liked helping people in this way, but I was very good at it. I found their actions predictable, and their decisions irrational, and I often knew exactly how to help them. But of course, this didn’t last long. I learned my lesson the hard way that people aren’t always predictable, and emotions are complicated. Luckily, by that time I had already developed a keen interest for people. I wanted to know why: why they act the way they do; why they think the way they think; why others don’t come to the same conclusions as me; and how to properly analyze another human being. More importantly, I wanted to take the knowledge of “why”, and use it to help others. Naturally, I set my sights on psychology, and it didn’t take long for it to become a passion. Since I am homeschooled, I was encouraged to explore my interests by studying online. Gradually, I was able to discern that I am intrigued by issues related to neurology and development. I also decided that I could be the most help to those who struggled as I did as a child.
My passion for music also dates back to when I was a child; however, my discomfort in social situations led to me ignoring this aspect of myself until very recently. I come from a family where music is as essential to life as breathing. We all sing all of the time, and many of my lessons used music and rhythm to make the subject matter more clear. I began playing violin when I was only four years old, and then transitioned to the viola, guitar and ukulele. It was very recently when I realized that I wanted to take my love for music farther than just playing instruments and singing. I decided that I want to write music. Like counseling, music allows you to connect with other people and express and share emotion. It is a universal language which transcends culture, age, ethnicity or any other descriptive category that humans use to divide themselves.
Like music, writing has the potential to unite people by giving them a shared world and shared experiences through their identification with a character. My mother is a writer, and as far back as I can remember, she invented universes for me to believe in and encouraged me to make realities of my own. As I mentioned earlier, I was a socially awkward child; nevertheless, writing gave me a way to communicate clearly with others. I began writing stories when I was five years old, and it wasn’t long before I started publishing a homeschool newspaper. I wrote articles, expressed my musings, and told jokes. This allowed me to connect with my peers without the distraction of non-verbal communication, and I was able to finally make friends. Writing is also helpful as a tool for self-expression. Often, writing something down, journaling or writing letters, helps a person to discern underlying issues and concerns which might otherwise remain hidden.
While all three of my career goals may seem different, they’re all actually very similar in that they all have to do with psychology. Being a child psychiatrist will require me to understand fetal development, as well as cognitive development and attachment. For writing, understanding problem solving heuristics and incentive theory helps me create more realistic characters, while understanding individualistic vs collectivistic cultures helps me write more diverse characters. Music, however, transcends language and connects with people on an emotional level. Understanding the six basic expressions of emotion, how people experience emotion, and its effect on bodily arousal helps me write music which can connect with people or even be therapeutic. Because of this, psychology is extremely useful to me and my future careers.
My desire to be a child psychiatrist is rooted in my fascination with people and my enjoyment in interacting with children. Ever since I was a young child, I’ve wanted to help people. A lot of the people in my family are teachers, doctors, activists, preachers and social workers, so I guess you could say it’s in my blood. I spent a large portion of my childhood trying to be a pal, making people laugh, helping people who need it. Unfortunately, due to my social awkwardness and previous complete lack of social skills, many of my attempts at do-gooding ended in misunderstandings or failure. People, therefore, became a puzzle to solve. In my thirteenth year, however, I found the perfect way to do it. Having just turned into a teenager, I found myself in a strange world where all my friends were consumed with constant teen-angst and relationship issues. One thing led to another, and I ended up becoming a substitute therapist for most of my friends. I found that I not only liked helping people in this way, but I was very good at it. I found their actions predictable, and their decisions irrational, and I often knew exactly how to help them. But of course, this didn’t last long. I learned my lesson the hard way that people aren’t always predictable, and emotions are complicated. Luckily, by that time I had already developed a keen interest for people. I wanted to know why: why they act the way they do; why they think the way they think; why others don’t come to the same conclusions as me; and how to properly analyze another human being. More importantly, I wanted to take the knowledge of “why”, and use it to help others. Naturally, I set my sights on psychology, and it didn’t take long for it to become a passion. Since I am homeschooled, I was encouraged to explore my interests by studying online. Gradually, I was able to discern that I am intrigued by issues related to neurology and development. I also decided that I could be the most help to those who struggled as I did as a child.
My passion for music also dates back to when I was a child; however, my discomfort in social situations led to me ignoring this aspect of myself until very recently. I come from a family where music is as essential to life as breathing. We all sing all of the time, and many of my lessons used music and rhythm to make the subject matter more clear. I began playing violin when I was only four years old, and then transitioned to the viola, guitar and ukulele. It was very recently when I realized that I wanted to take my love for music farther than just playing instruments and singing. I decided that I want to write music. Like counseling, music allows you to connect with other people and express and share emotion. It is a universal language which transcends culture, age, ethnicity or any other descriptive category that humans use to divide themselves.
Like music, writing has the potential to unite people by giving them a shared world and shared experiences through their identification with a character. My mother is a writer, and as far back as I can remember, she invented universes for me to believe in and encouraged me to make realities of my own. As I mentioned earlier, I was a socially awkward child; nevertheless, writing gave me a way to communicate clearly with others. I began writing stories when I was five years old, and it wasn’t long before I started publishing a homeschool newspaper. I wrote articles, expressed my musings, and told jokes. This allowed me to connect with my peers without the distraction of non-verbal communication, and I was able to finally make friends. Writing is also helpful as a tool for self-expression. Often, writing something down, journaling or writing letters, helps a person to discern underlying issues and concerns which might otherwise remain hidden.
While all three of my career goals may seem different, they’re all actually very similar in that they all have to do with psychology. Being a child psychiatrist will require me to understand fetal development, as well as cognitive development and attachment. For writing, understanding problem solving heuristics and incentive theory helps me create more realistic characters, while understanding individualistic vs collectivistic cultures helps me write more diverse characters. Music, however, transcends language and connects with people on an emotional level. Understanding the six basic expressions of emotion, how people experience emotion, and its effect on bodily arousal helps me write music which can connect with people or even be therapeutic. Because of this, psychology is extremely useful to me and my future careers.